Broken Record

That's what I feel like most of the time.  A broken record stuck on heart stuff.  My life over the past two years has been filled with all things heart.  Heart surgery, heart moms, heart clothing, heart conversations.  While I am totally fine with that, I sometimes wonder if those around me wanna take the broken record in my head and smash it into a million pieces.  But they can't.  I can't.  

In the past two incredibly hard and miraculous years I have learned countless lessons, felt emotions stronger than I ever have before, and experienced REAL miracles.  And I wanna tell everyone about it.  I wanna show everyone Olivia's zipper that represents what she's made it through.  I wanna tell everyone about how she's doing so well she hasn't need occupational therapy.  I want everyone to talk to Ella and see how amazing she has been in sharing her parents, taking care of her baby sister, and not letting Olivia's crazy first year get her down.  I want everyone to know that I made it through this incredibly hard thing.  I want everyone to know that during this incredibly hard thing I felt more loved than at any other moment in my life.  I want everyone to understand that even though Olivia looks perfectly normal and fine, every single day is a miracle for her and for us.  Every time my incredibly cuddly Livie grabs her big sister and gives her hugs or climbs up next to her on the chair and lays her head on Ella's shoulder I want everyone to know that those moments are only possible because of the amazing nurses and doctors at Primary Children's Hospital.  I want to tell everyone everything about every piece of our heart life in hopes that they will know how amazing my girls are, how lucky they are in their health, and that miracles happen.  

I'm almost positive there are some, if not many, that wish I would just talk about something normal.

But this is my new normal.  It's hard.  Incredibly hard sometimes.  But so worth it.  So, from this broken record, I will continue to wear my heart mom hoodie proudly, I will continue to brag about my miracle baby and her amazing sister, and I will continue to tell you about my experiences as Olivia's mom.